It Ends Like it Began
by Olliegami
Summary: Draco has been busy over the Christmas Holidays but busy doing what exactly?


Draco shuddered as he walked up to the Gryffindor Tower. His relationship had gone public about 6 months ago, after almost a year of having it off with Harry - and now he was accepted into the Common Room without a second thought. Their 6th year had changed a lot of things, and he'd managed to convince them all that he wasn't going to blow Harry's brains out. Well, at least not with a hex.

He smirked to himself momentarily, before he remembered where he had been over the Christmas Holidays, and it wasn't hard to forget. He'd left fine, and returned with a stabbing pain that refused to go away. Suddenly his whole body got ice cold and he wondered what he was doing. Going up there to Harry's room and openly admitting what he had done over the Holidays would just about end everything the two of them had ever had. His eyes trailed to the floor and he stared at it thoughtfully for what could have been hours.

"Draco...?" Came a soft voice from behind him that he recognised as Hermione's. Sweeping off his gloomy expression he wheeled round with a bright grin.

"Oh, Hi Hermione! Did you have a good Christmas?" He asked, managing somehow to keep his broad smile at his lips - it was one had hadn't been used to until this 'thing' with Harry. Hermione nodded, and began walking to their destination - she had assumed that was where he was going and she was right of course, this far up the school where else would he have been headed to?

"It was great thanks, Harry's been driving us mad talking non-stop about missing you." She said with a grin, looking across at him. His smile faltered. He had thrown this all away, in one moment of hasty thoughts - one second of forgetting who he had become.

"Ah, I've missed him too." He declared, stopping at the Portrait door for Hermione to say the password. He was about to make a mental reminder to himself to remember what the password was - but then forgot the notion altogether. He wouldn't need it - Harry would never want to see him again.

It was one of those times when you know you would go back and give everything to owned just to change something you did wrong. To take back those few hours in his presence and turn back the deceit, turn back the mistake he had made in that one rushed night. Hermione noticed him faltering and frowned.

"Draco - are you alright? You look awful." She said, and Draco quietly reminded himself that she didn't mean it sourly. He just shook his head slowly and glanced around the Common Room, spotting Harry's other dorm mates, but not him.

"I'm fine. I just need to see Harry." He told, watching as the brunette nodded her understanding and moved to sit down beside Ron, casting a glance at Draco that he chose to ignore. Come ten minutes or so and Harry would be forcing him out of this room and he would never return.

Another heavy breath filled his lungs, and he let it out - steadying himself before making his way up the stairs to Harry's dormitory. He knocked first, before opening the door carefully.

Harry was laid on his side in his bed, apparently asleep or on the verge of it. Draco had seen him laid like that many times before now and he was only just beginning to realise that he loved seeing that image. He was never going to see it again. His eyes were prickling with tears when he walked gracefully over to Harry's bed, sitting down on the edge and reaching out his right hand to brush strands of chocolate hair from his boyfriend's forehead. The movement caused the sleeping boy to stir - and the usual smile Draco wore vanished.

"Draco." Harry muttered sleepily, smiling widely and leaning up to lean forward and wrap his arms around the Blonde. Draco's eyes fell closed, and he winced in pain. He thought his heart was constricting in his chest, and he'd given up this love because of a fleeting moment. He tried to regain his composure when the boy in his arms moved back, forcing the tears behind his eyelids as Harry ran his hands from Draco's shoulders to his hands.

It was when light fingertips brushed over something they didn't recognise on the skin of his left forearm that Draco couldn't help but let out a harsh sob, his head bowing immediately. He felt warm hands gather his arm up slowly, and shuddered when a finger traced the fresh dark mark on his skin. He'd never cried much in his life, yet here tears were streaming down his cheeks like the slow trickle of a tap that hasn't quite been turned off. He couldn't meet those emerald eyes - didn't want to see the look of betrayal in them.

"Draco..." The voice repeated, breaking. His name had been on those lips so many ways - but the heartbreaking shatter of Harry's voice caused him to sob hard, his head tipping further as he pulled his hand away from Harry's examination.

"I-I'm sorry." He whispered between a gulp and another wet sob. There was eerie silence around the room, but he still didn't dare to lift his head. He had been like this before, waiting for the Dark Lord to permit him to look into his face. To look directly into the eyes of his master for the first time.

"Kiss me." Came a voice from in front of him, and his gaze flicked up suddenly, much unlike the slow disheartened way he had looked into his master's face when he had ordered him to look. Harry's expression was unreadable, or maybe that was because his vision was so blurred that he couldn't see it properly. Draco shook his head, reaching out a hand to brush his fingertips over Harry's cheek.

"I can't." He whispered hoarsely, a stabbing pain in his chest when Harry nodded his understanding. In a fell swoop Harry had leant forward to kiss his boyfriend gently on the lips, and it left Draco feeling confused. Understanding of his own set in when Harry turned his head away.

"It ends like it began." Harry whispered, and Draco had to gulp hard as he stood to his feet, gently brushing a hand over his robes to straighten them out. Indeed, their first kiss had been along much the same thread – as had the circumstance. He turned round from Harry's bed, unable to look at the Gryffindor as he approached the door, reaching out fluidly to grab the handle and open it. "I love you." came a hoarse whisper from the bed, and Draco had to clench his eyes shut as he left without a word.


End file.
